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 Jokes & More Jokes

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Knightmare
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PostSubject: Jokes & More Jokes   Sun Aug 04, 2013 5:12 pm

Post jokes here!
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes & More Jokes   Sun Aug 04, 2013 7:55 pm

Here's one:
There are two muffins in an oven. The first muffin says, "Oh boy! It is hot in here!" Then the other muffin says, "OH MY GOD! IT'S A TALKING MUFFIN!"
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes & More Jokes   Sun Aug 04, 2013 9:25 pm

Learn Chinese in 5 minutes:
1) That's not right - Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive? - Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP - Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man - Dum Fuk
5) Small Horse - Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the beach? - Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table - Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
Cool I think you need a face lift - Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here - Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet - Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone - No Pah King
12) Our meeting is scheduled for next week - Wai Yu Kum Nao
13) Staying out of sight - Lei Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile - Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive - Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great......................................Fa Kin Su Pah
17) Dildo - Fun Toi
18) Ex-wife - Fa Kin Sau
19) Where´s the restroom? - Ai Pe Nau
20) I absolutely agree! - No Daut
21) Jesus child - Ho Li Boi
22) Dogshit under my shoe - Stin Kin Puh
23) Stop teasing me! - Tat Nut Fun
24) Annoying kid - Hit Tat Boi
25) Cough up some dough! - Pei Nau
26) Go for a ride for free - Hit Hai King
27) Your price is too high - No Bai Dam Thing
28) Has your flight been delayed? - Hao Long Wei Ting?
29) That was an unauthorized execution.- Lin Ching
30) You are not very bright - Yu So Dum
31) I got this for free - Ai No Pei
32) I am not guilty - Wai Hang Mi?
33) Our meeting was scheduled for next week - Wai Yu Kum Nao
34) They have arrived - Hia Dei Kum

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PostSubject: Re: Jokes & More Jokes   Sun Aug 04, 2013 11:39 pm

A pokemon joke, hehehe:
What does Eevee evolve into when he is given a french stone?

Napoleon!
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes & More Jokes   Mon Aug 05, 2013 1:22 am

Funny picture Very Happy

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PostSubject: Re: Jokes & More Jokes   Mon Aug 05, 2013 12:26 pm

A sincere question from Prof Oak to everyone: "Are you a boy or a girl?"

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PostSubject: Re: Jokes & More Jokes   Mon Aug 05, 2013 7:35 pm

Teacher: "Anyone who thinks he's stupid may stand up!"
*Nobody stands up*
Teacher: "Im sure there are some stupid students over here!!"
*Little Johnny stands up*
Teacher: "Ohh, Johnny you think you're stupid?"
Little Johnny: "No... i just feel bad that you're standing alone..."

Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing!

"What's red and invisible?" "No tomatoes."

Have you heard about the three-star restaurant on the Champs-Élysées that makes omelets with only one egg? Apparently in Paris, one egg is un oeuf.

What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

Q.: Maria's mother has 5 kids: Fack, Feck, Fick, Fock. What is the name of the 5th kid? A.: Maria.

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PostSubject: Re: Jokes & More Jokes   Tue Aug 13, 2013 12:01 am

Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes & More Jokes   Wed Aug 14, 2013 7:40 pm

Little Johnny was in school, the teacher asked the class, ''What comes after 69?'' Then Little Johnny replied, ''Mouthwash'' LOL
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes & More Jokes   Wed Aug 14, 2013 7:41 pm

XD Inappropriate!

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PostSubject: Re: Jokes & More Jokes   Thu Aug 15, 2013 10:58 am

Why did the Chicken cross the road?
To get to KFC.

Now for a really stupid Pokémon joke! Very Happy

What do get when you cross Minun, pidove, combee, and snorlax?
Nun ove your beeslax. XD that was a fail.
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes & More Jokes   Thu Aug 15, 2013 4:57 pm

Nice one Jellohamster keep up the jokes Very Happy

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PostSubject: Re: Jokes & More Jokes   Fri Aug 16, 2013 8:29 pm

Yeah Jello nice jokes, and all who post here!

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PostSubject: Re: Jokes & More Jokes   Mon Aug 19, 2013 8:46 pm

I know 10 facts about you:
Fact 1: You are reading this.
Fact 2: You can't say the letter 'm' without touching your lips.
Fact 3: You just tried it.
Fact 4: You're smiling.
Fact 6: You're smiling or laughing again.
Fact 7: You didn't notice I missed fact 5.
Fact 8: You just checked it.
Fact 9: You're smiling again.
Fact 10: You like this and you're going to rate or comment. Smile

Police: where do u live?
Me: with my parents
Police: where does ur parents live?
Me: with me
Police: where do u all live?
Me: together
Police: where is ur house?
Me: next to my neighbors house
Police: where is your neighbors house?
Me: if i tell you u wont believe me.
Police: tell me
Me: next to my house

Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: I'm late?
Teacher: You missed an entire period.
Student: Are you telling me I'm pregnant?

Dad: Can you go get me a drink?
Kid: Cola or Pepsi?
Dad: Cola.
Kid: Normal or dietary?
Dad: Normal.
Kid: Bottle or Can?
Dad: Bottle! /:
Kid: 1L or 0.5L?
Dad: Screw it, just buy me a water!
Kid: Normal or carbonated?
Dad: NORMAL!
Kid: Warm or cold?
Dad: Get out! Kid: Now or later?
Dad: I'm going to kill you !
Kid: Knife or gun?
Dad: Gun! Kid: In the head or body?
Dad: EFF THIS!
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes & More Jokes   Sat Aug 24, 2013 7:57 pm

What's white and can't climb trees?
A fridge.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Becuase the "P" is silent.

What does DNA stand for?
National Dyslexic Association

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PostSubject: Re: Jokes & More Jokes   Sun Aug 25, 2013 4:58 pm

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

She had no arms.
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes & More Jokes   Sun Aug 25, 2013 5:14 pm

I don't see how that is funny.

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PostSubject: silly metapod   Sun Aug 25, 2013 5:25 pm

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PostSubject: Re: Jokes & More Jokes   Sun Aug 25, 2013 6:06 pm

XD Really? ^_^

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PostSubject: Re: Jokes & More Jokes   Sun Aug 25, 2013 6:38 pm

TheShortcutButton wrote:
Why did Sally fall off the swing?

She had no arms.
Knock Knock!
Who's There?
Not Sally.

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PostSubject: Re: Jokes & More Jokes   Mon Aug 26, 2013 4:13 pm

Knock Knock!!
Who's there?
Doctor.
Doctor Who?
Exactly Wink

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PostSubject: Re: Jokes & More Jokes   Mon Aug 26, 2013 4:22 pm



Last edited by CHUMbreon on Mon Aug 26, 2013 4:25 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes & More Jokes   Mon Aug 26, 2013 4:23 pm

Knock knock,
Who there?
Cow goes
Cow goes who?
No cow goes moo
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes & More Jokes   Mon Aug 26, 2013 5:13 pm

Keep up the jokes! They are hilarious!
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes & More Jokes   Mon Aug 26, 2013 8:47 pm

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

There was this man who walked into a bar and says to the bartender 10 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's the matter?" The man says, "I found out my brother is gay and marrying my best friend." The next day the same man comes in and orders 12 shots of whiskey. The bartenders asks, "What's wrong this time?" The man says, "I found out that my son is gay." The next day the same man comes in the bar and orders 15 shots of whiskey. Then the bartender asks, "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?" The man looks up and says, "Apprently my wife does."

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